Annoyances

I am annoyed, so annoyed right now. I'm sure it shows.

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I ran today for over 40 minutes, which is a little longer than I typically run. It's funny how differently I feel after a good run as opposed to after a good practice. After I run, especially after I run farther or longer than usual, I feel a sense of accomplishment. Today, I was cooling down after my run, and I could feel myself smiling because I felt very proud of myself. Is that wrong? Hannah has said before that we often feel the same way after we hit a certain pose that we haven't been able to get before, i.e. Hanumanasana (splits), but that that's not really the goal. I suppose I've felt that way before (okay, I know I've felt that way before) but at the end of a really good yoga class, like Sean's class last night, I usually feel more of a sense of peace than accomplishment. I might feel a little satisfaction, but it's not like, "Hell yeah! I just rocked that class!" It's more like, "*Sigh* That was awesome. Now I get to lie in savasana and let my body soak it all in." Whereas at the end of a run I feel like shouting to anyone who walks by that I just ran almost four miles and that I'm the shit. I should probably refrain from doing that because knowing me I'd yell it to an avid marathon runner who runs four miles as a warm up.

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I catered on Saturday and there was tons of food left over so I brought home bags of grilled chicken, red peppers, green beans, and blanched asparagus. Cody made some yummy asparagus soup that I just ate for lunch while I was writing this. It's all over my shirt now.

The pursuit of happiness

Is being happy in the moment really that hard? I'm a happy person with a lot to be grateful for, but I often find myself saying things like, "I'd be so much happier if..." I remember in that movie The Hours Meryl Streep was talking about the happiest she'd ever been. I can't remember the exact scene or her exact words, but she said something like she remembers the time when she realized, "Oh my gosh. This is the happiest I've ever been." And it was just for that moment. She realized that real happiness isn't necessarily a period of your life; it can simply be one exact moment in time. Maybe I need to think about happiness as something that happens within the moment, like when I'm in camel pose or when Cody and I are watching Grey's Anatomy or when I'm praying or whenever really, instead of thinking of it as I have been--that it's something I should strive for or achieve in my life. There's a quote that says, "In the pursuit of happiness, the hard part is knowing when you've caught up." I think even if you're going through a rough time in your life, you can still experience moments of happiness and vice-versa. So, maybe pursuiing happiness is something that is an ongoing process, and just know that once you reach it, you could experience it for just a moment, but that you will experience it over and over and over again.

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I had a goal to lose five pounds before February. I've lost seven. When I stepped on the scale this morning, I experienced a moment of happiness...I ain't gonna lie.

Laissez les bon temps rouler

After Vince Young announced that he was going to the NFL instead of finishing college at UT, I overheard two of my coworkers discussing where he wanted to and should go. One of them, who I was not very fond of for numerous reasons, said that he should go anywhere but New Orleans. Being a native of Louisiana and therefore a Saints fan, I chimed in, "Why not New Orleans?" She just looked at me like I was crazy saying that they finished last in the NFC the year before, not to mention the fact that he would be playing for a city that had been destroyed by Hurricane Katrina. She went on to ask why anyone would want to go play for a city that was in shambles and wouldn't be recovering anytime soon?

I thought about her yesterday as I was watching the NFC championship game. I wondered if she was eating her words. And in case you're wondering, I do realize that the Saints lost, and lost badly, but I couldn't help but feel proud for a team that has come so far in the last year. Much of the city is still in shambles and it saddens me greatly. I was in New Orleans back in September and the heart of the city is bustling again, but the east side is like a ghost town. I guess if a football team can be such an inspiration for the city, then anything is possible.

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On Saturday, I woke up (really, really early) and went to my regular yoga class at Bodhi. And to my surprise, Margaret was teaching (yay!). I practiced with her on Thursday so it was really nice to actually take a class from her, something I haven't had the opportunity to do in over a year. She's really grown as a teacher. She has this way about her that makes you want to push yourself to your edge, but she does this with a softness that I haven't experienced from any other yoga teacher. She's not militant at all in her teaching and that's so refreshing. She just lets you be.

So then I went home for a little while and trucked it down to Castle Hill Fitness for Hannah's Detox and Recharge workshop. Hello, toxins! We did lots of really intense breathing and let all those toxins out. I wish I could see a picture of all the toxins in my body. I think I take pretty good care of myself--I don't smoke, I eat well, and I exercise--but I'm not a non-drinking vegan. I wonder if I saw a picture of what could be considered the toxins in my body if I would change my attitude about how I treat my body. But I love food and I really love me some wine, so ya know, I'm doing pretty good. And the class was awesome. What a great day I had. I wish I could do four hours of yoga every single day. And then Saturday night, I slept longer and better than I had in months. I fell asleep on the couch at 9:00 for about 30 minutes, got in the bed and didn't wake up until about 7:00! That is so exciting for me.

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The 2008 Presidential campaign is up and running. If there is a person who embodies everything that I think our country's leader should represent, it is Senator Barack Obama. I just started his book The Audacity of Hope. Obama for President, '08!

Cabin Fever

After three and a half days of being stuck indoors because of icy and dangerous roads, I'm back to the daily grind. While I was home, I tried of to think of interesting things to do. Certainly, I could have pulled out all the furniture and cleaned all the animal hair and dust from behind the pieces. I'm sure that it would have been beneficial to take everything out of the freezer and refrigerator and wipe them both down inside. I know that my guest bedroom could have been organized and my dresser drawers sure do need cleaning out. But did I do any of those things? No. Of course not. I watched tv, took naps, and exercised. I practiced a lot of yoga and I'm so glad that I can practice at home by myself, but it's good to get back to the studio and practice with a group. Although yesterday I was the only one there, so Margaret and I just practiced together which was great because I never get to see her anymore.

On Tuesday, I decided to pull out this exercise video I've had for a few years but haven't done in almost as long as I've owned it. It has some aerobics, kickboxing, and just some really stupid stuff like running in place and getting your knees up. First, my calves are still super sore. My cat Lokey stepped on my left calf last night while I was in bed and it hurt like hell. But the worst part is that I pulled something close to my left groin. It's a lot better today, but yesterday it hurt to walk, which really sucks because I have to walk. I reek of Ben Gay. I think I pulled it from doing these side kicks in the kickboxing portion. I went to yoga this morning and it did pretty good. I just have to be careful. Tomorrow, I'm going to Hannah's Detox and Recharge workshop at Castle Hill. Two and a half hours of a workshop with Hannah could be rough, so I'm hoping that it feels even better tomorrow. Stupid exercise video.

Purrrrr....

There is an ice storm in Austin right now and since I'm off work for MLK day, I have the privelege of being stuck in my house all day. The weather isn't going to get any better either, so I have to assume that the University will be closed tomorrow and possibly Wednesday. I had big plans to truck it down to Bodhi for Hannah's 9:30 class this morning, but decided against it when I saw the slushy roads around my house. Instead, I cranked up my Donna De Lory cd and the heat in my house and practiced for two hours at home. I have a few dvd's, but they're not very long, nor do they challenge me enough. I figured that I've been practicing long enough to start having an in-depth home practice every now and then.

Several times while I was on my mat, one of my animals came to say hello. It tickled me a bit. My kitty Lokey is so funny. I'm nearing the end of my practice and I'm in deaf-man's pose all comfy with my knees around my ears and my hands clasping my feet, when I feel something furry plop down against my back. I slowly moved him to the side because if I had just rolled down, I would have heard all about it. A few minutes later, I was in frog and had been for several minutes when I feel something furry plop down between my legs. Lokey just wanted to hang out with me on my mat. I don't blame him.

If I'm couped up in my house for three days straight, I might go crazy. I'll keep you posted.

Oh, the irony

Yoga teachers like to stand in front of a class and say things like, "The mirror is there as a tool for you but don't let it be a crutch," and "It's not about what the pose looks like," and other various statements that are all pertaining to yoga not being about your ego. And they do this as they stand there in a $300 yoga outfit by Lululemon. I find so much irony in this. Sure, the quality of the clothing is better, but so is the quality of Prana and their clothes are half the price of Lululemon's. Maybe I should have started this whole blog off by saying that I don't own any Lululemon because I can't afford it and I don't pretend I can afford it by putting it on a credit card that I'll never pay off in full. Still, I just think that owning thousands of dollars of Lululemon gear has just a little to do with ego.

War, huh, good god y'all...

It's official. I use way too many commas in my writing. I guess it's the old student in me trying to make everything look and sound grammatically correct. This is really silly because in my masters program, my professors taught us that good grammar doesn't always equal good writing. Yes proper grammar is important, but a good gramartician (is that even word?) does not a good writer always make. Or whatever. Anyway, I'll try to chill out with the commas. Promise.

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I'm not surprised that President Bush wants to send more troops into Iraq. I was talking with my coworker about the whole situation over there. She and I are both emphatically opposed to the war and always have been, but she was wondering why there are so many people who were for it at the beginning and who are opposed to it now. She wants to know what the turning point was for those people because if she had been for the war, she would agree that sending more troops into Iraq is the right course of action. I said that I thought maybe it was the length of time it's taking is one reason why people are now opposed to it. And she said that if the goal is to create a democracy, then the length of time shouldn't matter. Huh...good point. We both believe that it doesn't matter how long we're over there; those people don't want a democracy and they will always be fighting. I think that Americans' emotions got the best of them when this war started, which is why they were for it in the beginning but aren't for it now. I don't think that Congress should cut off funding, though. What good would that do? Then, our troops are over there alone and with nothing. Why can't both Republicans and Democrats in political offices rise above all the bullshit and try to work together? I don't understand.

Age is just a number, part deux

Another sign that my "young" age isn't really that young is that my sleeping habits are like that of a woman in the middle of menopause. Either I wake up at the butt crack of dawn, really before the butt crack, and don't go back to sleep, or I wake up all through the night to go to the bathroom. Should I be doing this before I even turn 30? I don't think so. I'm in so much trouble when I get older. I guess I need to get some more Ambien, but it's not covered by my insurance, so it's $75 a perscription. Plus, the doctor's office may very well ask me to come back into the office so there's another $25. Plus, plus, do I really want to start taking a sleeping pill at this age? I used to have a perscription about two years ago and I only took a half of one when I really needed it.

Being tired makes me grumpy. I've been grumpy all day. I miss my friends. I miss my family. I'm tired of my work situtation. Whenever I indulge in a little self-pity, I always feel guilty because there are so many other people who have so much less than I do. At least I have great friends and a supportive family. At least I have a bed to sleep in and a roof over my head. At least I have a job and can pay my bills. But, it's all relative, right? It's okay that I feel a little sorry for myself every now and then, isn't it? Or am I just fooling myself? My head hurts.

Age is just a number

At the ripe old age of 29, I am going grey. This isn't a new revelation. About five years ago, I'm standing in my apartment kitchen under the bright light with my then roommate who looks at the top of my head in wonderment and says, "Angela, do you have grey hairs?" "Yes, Nicki," I replied. "Thanks for pointing that out." The number of grey hairs has grown and I haven't colored my hair since July, so I'm not sure what's going to happen. I colored my hair for years and last spring, I decided to have these big blond streaks put in. I did that just a few months before my sister's wedding and my parents would have died if I had walked down the aisle with them. More importantly, I didn't like them, so I went back dark, but had to get it done several times in a short time period so that the streaks weren't visible at the wedding. So, I decided to give my hair a break, something I haven't done in a really long time. But with dark hair, the color doesn't cover the grey for that long anyway so I don't know what to do.

With New Year's Eve just passing, I've heard a lot of bitching lately about restaurants that jack up their prices for that night and only serve a limited menu. I waited tables off and on for ten years and Cody, my husband, is a chef at, in my opinion, the best restaurant in Austin, so I feel the need to explain why restaurants do this. First, I don't understand why anyone would go out to eat at any restaurant on New Year's Eve. They're all going to be packed and you'll have to wait a long time to sit, unless you go really early. Wouldn't it be so much more fun, not to mention less expensive, to have a group of friends over, cook, drink, and be merry? Yeah, you have to do a little work, but who cares?

Restaurants only jack up the prices on the special menu items that are probably not on the regular menu. Or at least that should be the case. If it's not, then they do it just because they can. As far as serving a limited menu, if you've never worked in a busy, fine-dining restaurant, then quit your bitching. There are reasons why they do this. New Year's Eve is the busiest night of the year for most nice restaurants. The kitchen can only do so much in a certain amount of time and still provide customers with quality service and product. So, while a limited menu does make it easy for the kitchen, it also makes for a better experience for the customer. Cody's restaurant did $20,000 on New Year's Eve, with a limited menu. That's insane! It took the staff three days to recover. People think that being a chef is glamorous and fun. Don't let the Food Network fool you. It's a hard job.

New Year's Resolutions

Today, in Hannah's class, she started talking about New Year's resolutions and how people make them and they don't usually stick. (Oh, and note to self and anyone else who might be interested-don't go for a 3.5 mile run an hour before Hannah's two-hour New Year's Day yoga class. Your quads will start screaming at you halfway through class. Seriously, though, the class was awesome.) Anyway, it made me think about the many resolutions I've made over the years. Some have stuck; others have faded shortly into February. In 2004, I started the year as an engaged graduate student who was getting married on May 8, the Saturday after I was to finish my finals that semester. I made a resolution that year to start practicing yoga to help relieve stress and keep me in shape for my wedding. It's hard for me to imagine that practicing yoga was once one of my New Year's resolutions, since now it's such an integral part of my life. Best resolution I ever made.