Pondering Life

I have a question. Why do people talk on their cell phones while they are working out on a cardio machine? It makes zero sense to me.

Let it go

I went to Christina Sell's class at Yoga Yoga for the first time. It was awesome. It's amazing that we have such an incredible nationally-known yoga teacher right here in Austin. The theme was destroying, which is one of the five acts of Shiva so we flowed pretty much the entire class. Flowing fits nicely with the theme of destroying because you let one pose go and then turn it into something else, although I have to admit that I was a little disappointed that all we did was flow. I was hoping for some handstand action or crazy backbends, but I get why we flowed. It totally fit with the theme. And the flows were very challenging. We moved into poses in ways that were totally new to me, so I'm glad I got to experience some new stuff.

Speaking of handstands, I've been piking up into them!!! How exciting is that! I've done it several times at home and the first time I did it, I was jumping around the house feeling really proud of myself. I know it's not supposed to be about that, but I think it's okay if it is just every now and then...just a little.

Seeking

I was in Jenn's class on Saturday at Yoga Yoga and the theme was searching within ourselves to find what we need. She talked about how people continue to search and search outside of themselves and often don't find what they are looking for, specifically referring to God. It will not come as a surprise that as a Christian, I don't fully agree with this philosophy. Let me start by saying that I enjoy Jenn's teachings and classes very much and I do believe there is something to be said for searching within because God does exist within us. But God exists everywhere, so you must seek and search outside of yourself to find Him as well. That doesn't necessarily mean following the Christian path--that is my path but I understand that it's not everyone's.

I agree that often we search and search and search only to end up disappointed. I think it's because people are searching for something very specific, like perfection or enlightenment or something like that. In searching, you need to be aware that you won't always get the answers you are hoping to find. It's not that simple. But to think that all you need is already within you will also disappoint you. That's like saying that you are your only teacher. If I were my only teacher, I would be in real trouble.

At the beginning of her class we did the first few sun salutations with our eyes closed to connect to the theme. It was difficult. I enjoy taking my vision out of my practice sometimes but moving without vision is hard. And I think it's because if we only rely on ourselves, we will fall, hard. And if we don't fall then we're trying really hard not to fall.

At some point during your search, you have to make a decision about God and the Divine and what it is you're searching for and what all of that means to you. Otherwise, you'll die still searching for your beliefs. Who wants that? It's not that the search ever really ends, because we all have room to grow in every aspect of our lives, including spiritually, but your core beliefs about spirituality should be concrete, I think.

So, yes, searching within is important. But we shouldn't discount searching outside of ourselves either. There's a lot out there to be found.

I heart the weekend

My weekend officially starts very soon. Mom & Dad are on their way into Austin. Fortunately, they are staying at the Stephen F. Austin Hotel since the wedding reception is there. I don't have to clean my house as well as I normally would if they were staying with us. We are meeting them at the hotel at 6:30 for a cocktail (or two) and then heading to Vespaio for dinner. We haven't been there in a really long time so it should be yummy as always. I'm certain that the kitchen will send us out an appetizer plate big enough for all of us to be full before we even order entrees, but you only live once I guess.

Mom is taking me shopping tomorrow. My coworker asked if we were going to the Domain. Hell, no. I want to be able to shop at more than one store so we're going to the outlet mall in Round Rock. I love that mall. Great stores. Then Cody and I are going to Uchi tomorrow night to celebrate the anniversary of my birth 31 years ago. It's funny because I asked for a gift certificate to Milk & Honey Spa as a gift and lo and behold, it came in the mail earlier this week. I check the mail. I wasn't going to say anything but he did. He informed me that I don't know how much it's for and I can't open it until we're at dinner Friday night. Fair enough. I can be patient.

We're going to a wedding on Saturday night. Should be fun. There will be a lot of people from my hometown that I haven't seen in a really long time. I only went home once last year and spent most of the time there with my family. Also, word got around pretty quickly that I was pregnant so most of the people that will be there will know that I had a miscarriage. I'm sure the word of that spread quickly as well. Not a big deal, I just mention it because the next time I get pregnant, I'm waiting until after I have an ultrasound to tell anyone other than my parents. And they can't tell anyone either. I was forced to tell so many people last time because I had two vacations planned and you know, I enjoy alcoholic beverages when I'm on vacation. Okay, I enjoy them all the time. But clearly I wasn't going to drink while pregnant so I had to spill the beans. What a crappy experience. I hope you never have to go through it.

-------
I sent my money in for a workshop with Darren Rhodes in August in San Marcos. I hear that I'm going to be sore. Can't wait!

The Aging Process

Friday is the anniversary of my birth. It seems like just yesterday I was writing about turning 30 and the awful things that number represents. And now, I'm turning 31. My next milestone birthday will be 40. Wow. That sounds so old, even though my head knows that it is not old. I guess it used to be old. My parents should be in their 40's; instead, they are in their 60's.

But to commemorate the anniversary of my birth (I don't like the term birthday anymore), my parents will be in town. Actually they are coming in town for a wedding but they would probably come here anyway. We have a full weekend planned and my mommy is taking me shopping on Friday. I love spending other people's money.

I often wonder if I should have more to show for my age. The only thing I can really come up with is that I wish I'd have traveled more by now. I guess that's not so bad. My career is on the upward slope; I'm in good shape; I have a loving hubby (keep your fingers crossed for kiddos soon); I have the greatest friends in the world; my family is still alive and kicking. I can't ask for much more than that.

Exploration

I have really been enjoying branching out on the yoga front. I have attended several of Sanieh's classes at Yoga Yoga. She trains with Shiva Rae so this is a new style of flow for me. Her classes are both easy-going and challenging at the same time and I enjoy them very much. Since I am particularly interested in Anusara yoga, Mandy's classes have really been speaking to me. She breaks down poses in a way that I have never been taught before. I am learning so much and it's exciting. I practiced at home on Thursday and did a head stand drop over by myself. Pretty cool.