Life or Death
A few weeks ago at church, our pastor Ted was speaking about life and death and what that means for us down here on Earth. He told a story about an experience he had at Boys' State when he was in high school. Ted was running for president of Boys' State and had to give a speech, to which he received his very first standing ovation. Ted was drunk with power. He said that he felt like he could literally rule the world. Since then, he's received seven standing ovations and for Ted, having a huge crowd get on its feet and clap for something that he did or said is the definition of life. He asked what our definitions of life and death were. I'm still thinking about the death part - that could be a number of things for me - but the life part is easy.
My definition of life is recognition. Everyone wants to be recognized in some way or another, but I don't want to be recognized just so that I'm the only one who knows about it. No, that's not enough. I want other people to know it, too. I want my husband to give me credit for everything I do for him and around our house, and I want him to tell people about it. I want my parents to tell their friends how proud they are of me. I want my boss to tell the Dean how great I am with the Law School alums so that I'll get another promotion soon. I even want my yoga teachers to say things like, "That's nice, Angela," in front of the entire class. Oh, and if they ask me to demonstrate a pose, well then, there's no better form of recognition in a yoga class than that!
This last example is ludicrous. It is REEEEE-diculous that I want recognition in my yoga classes. My head knows that my yoga practice is not about, or should not be about, my ego. Or rather, my heart knows that and the message just isn't getting to my head. It's funny how the things I want in life come with me when I get on my mat, no matter how hard I try to leave them outside of that room. I struggle with this, even after almost three years of a regular practice. I guess in the whole scheme of things, that's not that long. I guess, also, that's why they call it a practice.
My definition of life is recognition. Everyone wants to be recognized in some way or another, but I don't want to be recognized just so that I'm the only one who knows about it. No, that's not enough. I want other people to know it, too. I want my husband to give me credit for everything I do for him and around our house, and I want him to tell people about it. I want my parents to tell their friends how proud they are of me. I want my boss to tell the Dean how great I am with the Law School alums so that I'll get another promotion soon. I even want my yoga teachers to say things like, "That's nice, Angela," in front of the entire class. Oh, and if they ask me to demonstrate a pose, well then, there's no better form of recognition in a yoga class than that!
This last example is ludicrous. It is REEEEE-diculous that I want recognition in my yoga classes. My head knows that my yoga practice is not about, or should not be about, my ego. Or rather, my heart knows that and the message just isn't getting to my head. It's funny how the things I want in life come with me when I get on my mat, no matter how hard I try to leave them outside of that room. I struggle with this, even after almost three years of a regular practice. I guess in the whole scheme of things, that's not that long. I guess, also, that's why they call it a practice.
posted by Angela at 7:13 PM
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